Lyrics. Truly, they are
the gateway to a man's soul. Not the eyes. Eyes are just the gateway to a man's skull, and you won't get an interview out
of that. But lyrics? They provide a wonderful route into a fella's thoughts. We went through a few key lines from McFly's
new single, 'The Ballad Of Paul K', and let them take us in brave new interview directions.
In other words, we looked at the lyrics
sheet, cobbled up a few dodgy questions and barked them at the McFly chaps very early on a Friday morning. Here are their
"He's drinking cold Corona..."
Dougie – you’re only 6,563 days old [at the time of this interview] – too young to drink Corona,
Dougie: True, true. I wasn't drunk last
night. Not me. I never drink alcohol. I have tasted alcohol-free lager, though - it's very yeasty.
Tom: Actually, that lyric was originally
Coca-Cola but, because we had a deal going with Pepsi, it was a conflict of interests. We love Pepsi.
Harry: We drink it all the time.
Tom: And it fitted the song better anyway
- that the character's drinking an alcoholic beverage, rather than a soft drink.
you big girls who ask for wedges of lime in your fancy imported beer bottles?
Tom: Yeah, you've gotta put some lime
in your Corona - it's lovely.
Danny: You know what that was originally
for? In Mexico, the lime keeps the flies away. You put it in the top to stop them flying in. It's not for the taste.
Couldn't you just use your thumb?
Danny: Yeah, but you can't do that once
you've put it down on a table, can you?
Tom: You could if you chopped your thumb
Are you suggesting that Mexicans drink their beer slowly? Are you saying they're a bunch of
Harry: Are you trying to start a conflict
between McFly and the country of Mexico?
"Grey hairs left in the shower..."
Have any of you developed grey hairs yet?
Tom: I did find a grey... erm, body
hair. Did I pluck it out? No, it got shaved off. My friend actually did have a perfect circle of grey in his hair - he was
Generally-speaking, who leaves the most filth behind in the shower?
Tom: Well, we're not all sharing anymore,
but me and Dougie are sharing a bath. I think it's even more disgusting than sharing a shower, because he doesn't wash his...
erm, stuff that he leaves in the bath away. Which is quite disgusting! You get in the bath and see these floating bits around.
It's happened to me twice now.
Floating bits of... ?
Tom: Floating bits of stuff that you
won't be able to print anyway. It's not very pleasant to get in the bath and find someone else's bodily fluids floating around
"Tatoos fade by the hour..."
Which tattoos do you all have?
Tom: I've got a tattoo of a star. So
have Dougie and Danny.
Dougie: I've got a thing which isn't
finished yet - tribal stuff. It's not Mexican, no! It's like the lunar landing, Neil Armstrong sticking his fingers up.
Danny: I've just got the bottom half
of my leg done - but it's not finished yet. Look.
Harry: If they're really fit and they've
got a good figure, then as many as they like.
Tom: But not like in this magazine we
saw - the girl was really fit, but she was completely covered. Quite a lot's fine, but not all-over like she had!
Harry: Some girl got me to do an 'H',
which she got permanently tattooed onto her... what's that bit of your body called?
Danny: Upper leg?
Tom: Yeah, a girl has my autograph
on her back - she got the guy to tattoo over my signature. She said she was going to do it, but I didn't believe her. And,
the next day, there it was: a scabby, old tattoo!!
Danny: Well, it's got two lines under
it now, so she can easily adapt it.
Tom: I don't suppose we can change it
more than that now, or we'll really be messing things up for her!
"Look in the mirror afraid of
what you'll find..."
Who spends the most time looking in the mirror?
Harry: It's me. Yes. I've got a bathroom
with two massive mirrors, but there isn't one in front of my sink, so I stare at the wall while I'm brushing my teeth.
& Susannah have a 360 degree mirror, which you stand in to see yourself from every conceivable angle...
Dougie: Anyone would go mental, standing
in there naked!
Tom: Danny would love it.
Danny: Looking at myself naked? Yeah,
Tom: I'm not sure I would like it. I'm
quite a minger. You can quote me on that.
"Applying for his pension..."
Danny: We've all got pensions.
Tom: Isn't it all changing next year?
You can buy property out of your fund when the rules change, isn't that right?
We don't know, and we're scared that people
10 years younger than us know about these things.
Do any of you ever have to work again, or are you
all minted for life now?
Harry: If we stopped working now, we'd be stuffed.
Maybe in about five years time, we'll be sorted.
Tom: The money takes years and years
to come through.
Dougie: We have to keep touring to make any money at all.
What are the chances that you’ll
be ripped off by a corrupt accountant one day and end up skint?
Harry: That's happened to a lot of bands,
but we've got a really good accountant and a great team around us.
That's what Sting said in the
'90s - then he realised his accountant had nicked six million quid from him!
Harry: Did he go to prison?
He did indeed. For six years - one for every million he stole.
Tom: But accountants get so, so much
money anyway - why do they have to steal even more from the bands?
Harry: Sting's accountant, you are a
[Censored!! - Ed.]
"The new kitchen floor he's buying..."
on the kitchen tiles". "New kitchen floor". "Virgin in the kitchen". Looking through the McFly songbook, one thing's abundantly
clear: one of you’s kitchen obsessed!
Tom: It's all stuff that actually happened!
I danced with someone in the kitchen. Danny's family were buying a new kitchen floor. It's all true life! Lots of things happen
in kitchens. You spend 30 percent of your life in the kitchen.
Only if you're a packet of peas,
Tom: Okay, I made that up. I've got
lots more kitchen lyrics lined up, though - it rhymes with so many things. 'Ditching', 'itching', 'stitching' - listen out
for the kitchen lyric on the next album. We're secretly promoting kitchens.
Sorry, Pepsi! We're
with MFI now!
Tom: Exactly! That's where the proper
Are you all into DIY and home improvement?
Danny: We're all completely into that
TV show - what's it called?
Tom: Extreme Makeover: Home Edition.
Danny: It always makes me cry!
Tom: I love the way the turn they cruddiest
house into a proper crib!
Harry: People who've struggled for their
entire lives - they go in, do up their houses and totally transform their lives. It's amazing.
Danny: I'm the actual DIY guy in the
band, though. I actually used to fit kitchens! I used to be a joiner... well, for two weeks while I was doing work experience.
I've fitted an entire kitchen on my own. It's easy!
Harry: I set up my bedroom with Ikea
Tom: Step one, step two, step three...
"Two kids, a dog and a wife..."
Which one of you is most likely
to settle down first?
Tom: Erm, me. Probably. I'm just genetically
built that way.
What do you think you’ll call your kids?
Harry: He'll get over that! He's going
through his Blink 182 phase! It's been going for about 10 years now, but he'll get over it!
Danny: Dylan Jones. That'd be wicked.
Harry: Daisy... the cow! You can't call
your daughter that!
Dougie: You should call your son Indiana,
Danny - Indiana Jones.
Danny: That would be cool, yeah...
"The ones you love you hate now..."
Do you hate all your old friends because
they're not cool and famous like you are?
Tom: Haha! I don't have any friends!
Harry: Tom has three friends in the
Tom: Four... unless one of you guys
doesn't like me! Yeah, it's just these guys and one other. I have lots of enemies, though. I get assaulted in supermarkets!
Harry: Do you remember the pop phenomenon
that was [Boyband Name Censored! - Legal Ed.] ? Do you recall their revolutionary success? Well, there's a bit of rivalry
Boyband-Name-Censored tried to beat you up in a supermarket?
Tom: No, it was one of their mothers.
A fully-grown woman, chucking cream and screaming at me!
Harry: I think you could put it down
to jealousy. I'm not sure. That's just the vibe we were getting!
Well, that just about wraps that
up. McFly, thank you.
McFly: No, no. thank you.
We always end these interviews like that, don't we?
McFly: Let's end it really suddenly
What? Like this?
McFly's rather brilliant live DVD,
The Wonderland Tour 2005 - Live In Manchester, is out to buy now. The single we stole all these lyrics from, 'The Ballad Of
Paul K / Ultraviolet', is out on December 12th. Go crazy, buy both!